Over the past few days I’ve been reflecting my attitudes towards food. In my early 20s, I was rather disciplined when it came to eating. I was a vegetarian with vegan tendencies, many that I often went long stretches without eating dairy. Because of this, I used to whip up vegan dishes and desserts so much that friends began suggesting I sell some of my vegan cakes and cookies.
Somewhere along the way, though, my relationship with food began to change. But when? And why? That’s what I attempted to uncover through my reflections.
I realized that the change came about in my mid-20s. I was making more money than I had previously had and spent a lot of it eating out. My previously disciplined and holistic way of relating to food – considering how it impacting body, mind, and spirit – had been sacrificed for what seemed to be more fun and enjoyable. Why deny myself the plethora of amazing food choices even if they are filled with fat and sugar? “Eat now and worry about it later” became my subconscious mantra, never said aloud but all the while guiding my eating habits.
And I also realized that it’s this shift in my attitude towards food that keeps me from being as disciplined as I was previously. In the back of mind, discipline is denial, robbing me of something enjoyable that deserved to have.
Wow. Writing that just now feels just as powerful and freeing as it did when that revelation first came to me.
It’s only until I truly believe and accept the truth – that it’s the fatty, sugary, glutenous foods that are robbing me and denying me of my health and energy – that I will be able to return back to those days of disciplined eating.
I’m steadily working on shifting my belief system regarding food and eating. It’s not an easy task but I know in my heart that it’s absolutely necessary.
Goals this week:
- Exercise daily: 1 hour on 3 days and 30 minutes on the remaining 4 days
- Lose at least 2.5 lbs
- Eat gluten free*
*For gluten-free oatmeal try Bob’s Red Mill’s Whole Grain Rolled Oats